Breaking The Fun House Mirrors January 4, 2009

People are like fun house mirrors: They all reflect a slightly distorted image of yourself back to you. Sometimes they’re flattering; other times they’re not. But ultimately their observations have more to do with their own insecurities than with you.

We all tend to take other people’s perceptions of us way too seriously.

There are always going to be people who think you should be dating a different guy, dressing in a different style, or following another career path. Maybe they’re right. Maybe they’re wrong. Who cares?

This year, Decide that while you’ll listen to what others have to say, you’ll focus on what YOU want. That is, after all, what’s most important.

(Jared Matthew Weiss)

Just A Boring Blog

I’ve been receiving some, um… complaints… about the lack of activity on my blog lately. My apologies. I’ve been busy. And unfortunately, though the things I’ve been doing would make excellent blog fodder, I haven’t had time to capture those moments in words. And since I’m such an instant gratification junkie, by the time I get back to my laptop to touch my fingers to the keyboard, I’ve completely lost interest.

So… we’re back to another blog where I don’t really have much so say. (But as we all know, even when I have nothing to say, it’s damn near impossible to shut me up.)

So, I suppose I’ll just give an update.

Aaron came down from Montana to visit, and we had a fantastic time. Mikey and Holly managed to make it in from Beaumont to hit 6th Street with us on Friday, which was great fun. Saturday was Christmas party time with Brian & Jess at Dan & Lindsay’s house, and we had a blast there. Then on Sunday, we hit the Cowboys v. Giants game, which was absolutely phenomenal.

Worked on Monday. Shared a bottle and a half of Jack Daniels with Kevin on Monday night, which inspired us to  stay up until 6 a.m. watching porn. (http:///www.youporn.com is effing gold, by the way.) So, the heavy drinking and late night leads to us both being completely useless on Tuesday, which happens pretty much every time I set foot in his apartment.

I tried to recover by sleeping happily in my own bed on Tuesday and Wednesday night (while I was working in San Antonio) then worked in Austin on Thursday and had another incredible night with Brian’s MGAM crew. Although Brian bailed on us way early (at 10 p.m., without telling anyone goodbye… shameful…), Lindsay showed up, and we managed to ensure that every member of the Math Department was sufficiently hammered before making our way up to Round Rock. Took a little detour to meet Kevin at a nearby gas station to hand over my Cowboys v. Ravens tickets and enjoy some coffee in the midst of his night shift before hitting the bed at 6:00 a.m. Again. (I have got to stop doing that!)

With my circadian rhythm sufficiently screwed up, I worked for 4 hours in Austin, made it back home to San Antonio on Friday night, and spent a much-needed night at home alone. Saturday morning I met up with Mommy, Leslie, the Rivers and the Jarvises for a nice, formal girlie lunch and an afternoon at the ballet. Kidnapped the Seester for a sleepover, did some more Xmas shopping, and watched the Cowboys hand the last game at Texas Stadium over to the effing Ravens. The RAVENS. WTF. At least Kevin and his dad got to enjoy the last Cowboys game at Texas Stadium. (Oh, and I almost stabbed a chunky little Ravens fan in the neck with my teaspoon… repeatedly… because the little brat wouldn’t stop mocking the Cowboys fans surrounding him at TGI Fridays. What the hell was a 12 year old doing in the bar area on a Saturday night, anyways? He’s lucky his mom weighed about 260 and was pretty terrifying.)

So… there’s your week in the life of Michelle update. Now it’s Sunday night, and I’m thinking about all of the things I need to do this week. And I don’t wanna.

I have to drive up to Austin tomorrow afternoon to put my expertise in on some last-minute settlement details, and meet Heather for a bit tomorrow night. Then I have to be back in San Antonio sometime Tuesday for a client meeting and a doctor’s appointment. But this kind of makes me happy, because it’s my consultation for the surgery de la breasteses. After years of debating, I’ve decided that I have no reason NOT to have delightfully enhanced breasts. If nothing else, they will give me something to play with when I’m bored. So, I’ll schedule my surgery date on Tuesday, and you’d better believe that after my surgery, I will be expecting visitors to come by, being me jello, make fun of the fact that I’m totally fucked up on painkillers, and admire my new toys.

(Note: I’ve had at least 10 guys tell me I’m crazy, my breasts are perfect the way they are, etc. etc. Hey boys… I didn’t ask your opinion. I’m doing it for me. Thanks.)

Okay, so back to my schedule. Consultation. Then a trip to my Grannie’s house for Xmas Eve Eve. Mommy and Daddy’s on Xmas Eve itself, with a visit to Pastor Vitek’s church in Fredericksburg for the Christmas Eve service. (Tangent: I’m completely stoked about seeing Pastor Vitek again. For those of you who don’t know, he’s the guy that baptised me, gave me my first communion, AND conducted my confirmation. I haven’t seen him in more than 10 years, and no other church has ever been good enough for me.) Grammy & Pop Pops on Xmas Day. Then the weekend… the glorious, wonderful weekend… is all mine.

I’m doing my best to toss out my usual witty banter, but all I can think of is how badly I want to close my eyes. So I’m doing that.

D – Hope you feel a little more informed on what’s going on in my life. Like I said, it’s not completely interesting, but it’s a happy life. Miss you!

But I Don’t Want a Day Off!

I think I’ve lost all sense of self outside of work.

I have an unexpected day off and I don’t know what to do with myself.

I shouldn’t panic. This usually happens towards the end of the year in my type of practice, when the law firms and insurance companies are pushing each other to settle cases and get the settlement money on the books for this tax year. So, we end up ridiculously busy, with an inordinate amount of depositions and discovery, working crazy amounts of overtime and forgetting that we even have a home to go to at night.

And I’m fine with this. I work well under pressure. I like to stay busy. So I’ve been conspicuously absent from my apartment, traveling back and forth between Austin and San Antonio with little regard for the fact that I need food, sleep and human companionship. And I’ve been happy, especially when those massive overtime checks hit my bank account.

Then, this morning, I got the phone call that interrupted my overtime bliss.

Greg settled our big case this morning. He called to tell me to take a well-deserved day off, and we would go celebrate sometime next week after Aaron goes back to Montana.

AWESOME!! Wait… what?

A day off? What the fuck am I supposed to do with a day off on MONDAY? I crammed all of my “ME! ME! ME!” time into Saturday and Sunday out of sheer disbelief that I had two consecutive weekend days off, and the fear that I might not have a repeat of that episode ever again.

I cleaned the fridge and went grocery shopping. (This was especially fun for me because I’ve eaten out for nearly every single meal since November 9th, except for Thanksgiving and my weekly trips to the parentals’ home for dinner and conversation. Plus, there is apparently some genetic abnormality in Mason’s DNA that prevents him from going to the grocery store. Ever. So if I wanted anything besides ice, water, or the collection of PopTarts, leftover Halloween candy and dust in the pantry, I had to go shopping. It was a survival move, really.)

I also cleaned the apartment. (It seems the same genetic abnormality that prevents The Mase from grocery shopping has also impaired his ability to vacuum, dust, or do laundry. He did attempt to do some of the dishes, but apparently forgot to pre-wash the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, or perhaps forgot to use detergent, because all of the dishes were still dirty after the wash cycle. Still, he tried. I decided to reward him for his efforts, and thought about cleaning his room and bathroom for him. Sadly, when I opened the door, I suddenly became deathly afraid of the creatures that might be hiding in said rooms, and quickly closed the door again. We’ll just keep those doors shut.)

I spent 6 hours total at the gym. (Yes, 6 hours. I figured that somehow makes up for the last 4 weeks of treadmill avoidance, even though deep down I know that’s just wishful thinking.)

I did some Christmas shopping. My gifts are especially cool this year. I’ve almost run out of people to buy for, but to me, gift-giving is like crack to an addict. I can’t get enough. Mom and Dad put a limit on what I’m allowed to buy for them and the siblings. But I’m a grownup. I should be able to do whatever I want. Mommy and Daddy telling me what to do is SO NOT FAIR. But I crave their love and acceptance. And the presents they bought for me. So I agreed to the limit. But that does nothing for my addiction. And there’s only so much you can do for your friends and harem members before they feel guilty if they reciprocate equally, or start to worry you may be strangely, stalkerishly in love with them. So I had to curtail purchases in that arena, as well. I’m thinking of going out and making new friends just so I have an excuse to buy more presents.)

I did the girlie thing. (Got a manicure and a pedicure, got my hair did, got a brow design, got a massage, etc. This was pretty much uneventful and not very amusing.)

I attempted to upgrade the hard drive on my Macbook. (Attempted, because I realized that I can’t find my Mac OS X Install DVDs, and therefore can’t reload my operating system, which is… just bad. The thought of me without my MacBook for any reason is… just bad. I have to get new Install DVDs from the Apple Store, and I didn’t feel like going *back* to La Cantera, so didn’t do the upgrade. Instead, I did a messed around with Windows crap, did a disk sweep and and ordered some new laptop hardware online.)

I decorated the tree at Mom and Dad’s house. (Mason stayed home because he felt sick. I wanted him to come, because it’s the first time in 10 years I’ve been home to decorate the tree. He ruined my good time because he’s lame salad. So I attempted some revenge. Leslie and I found all of Mason’s Texas A&M ornaments and put them on the back of the tree, against the wall. This made us happy. Turns out, he didn’t care. That made me sad.)

I bought Fable II and Grand Theft Auto IV for the X Box. (I figured this would be a good way to regain control of my television, which is constantly involved in 8-hour stretches of NBA or college basketball games for X Box, and my sofa, which is constantly commandeered by just over 6 feet of boy. I played Fable II for hours. I seriously debated ever leaving the house again. That game is way too fun. I haven’t tried GTAIV yet, because Mason managed to sneak onto the sofa and start playing it yesterday while he was SUPPOSED to be helping decorate the tree at mom and dad’s. And he hasn’t moved since then. Honestly. He slept on the couch last night, woke up, and started playing the game again. Dammit.)

I picked out my holiday cards, collected friends’ addresses, and hand-addressed my cards in pretty green pen. (Pilot G2 clicky-pen, of course.)

I enjoyed quality time with The Karms. (Well, more like, The Karms hasn’t detached herself from my body from the moment I walked in on Friday afternoon. As I type this, she is curled up in my lap, and is looking up at me every few seconds to lick my face. I think I’m a bad puppy parent. So I think she’ll be traveling to Austin with me tomorrow.)

So… I did all that stuff, and now there’s nothing left to do. I went back to bed and slept until 10:00. That was pretty amazing. I think I might go to the gym in a bit, since I’m still craving a quinoa salad. But seriously… how much time can I spend at Lifetime today?

I need ideas. Fast. Or I might waste away into a land of boredom and beer.

Kevin

I saw a kiosk at Lakeline mall that has little radio controlled helicopters that appear to provide hours of entertainment. It doesn’t help that I also just watched an episode of Rob and Big where they bought a whole fleet of the little copters and had a blast crashing them. They even have a little camo attack heli with missles and stuff on the side. This is my recommendation. Posted by Kevin on Monday, December 08, 2008 – 5:13 PM [Reply to this]  [Remove]  [Block User]

michelle cheri

This is seriously the best idea I’ve heard in a long time. I love Rob and Big. I kind of want them to come live in my house with Minihorse and Meaty so we can do fun things like this all the time. Any more ideas? Kevin set the bar pretty high. Bring ’em on. Posted by michelle cheri on Monday, December 08, 2008 – 5:30 PM [Reply to this]  [Remove]  [Block User]