‘Woman’ versus ‘Girl’

Yesterday, I elaborated on the some of the key differences between ‘men’ and ‘guys,’ and pointed out some of those specific differences to certain female readers (you know who you are!). But ladies, don’t think you got off that easy. There are some very distinct differences between ‘women’ and ‘girls’ as well… and as I approach my 30’s, I find myself consciously thinking about those little variations in taste and behavior quite often. So how do you tell the difference between a ‘woman’ and a ‘girl’? Here we go…

Appearance: Females often dress to impress… but the audience they are aiming to capture varies by  mentality. ‘Girls’ dress to impress the male gender as a whole. When ‘girls’ dress up, their short skirts or tight jeans, low cut tops, high heels and expertly applied makeup are donned with two distinct purposes in mind: attract the opposite sex, and look better than all other females in the vicinity. ‘Women’ dress to impress as well… but they dress to impress themselves and/or a certain special someone (as opposed to all heterosexual men with a pulse and working penis.) ‘Women’ understand that confidence is sexy, so they dress in a manner that makes them feel confident and attractive. Both ‘girls’ and ‘women’ in a club environment may be spotted wearing similar outfits, but the psychology behind those outfits is what separates the two. Differentiations are a bit easier when you spot a female in casual attire. ‘Women’ are just as comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt as they are in a black pinstripe suit or evening gown, because, again, ‘women’ dress to feel confident. But there are certain outfits you’ll never see a ‘woman’ wearing. Have you spotted an attractive female showing off her leggings under running shorts? Congratulations, you’ve found yourself a ‘girl.’ And she’s probably in college. Bonus points if the leggings-with-shorts combo extends to include a pair of Uggs and/or a t-shirt, sweatshirt or hoodie representing said girl’s college, sorority or boyfriend’s fraternity. (That, my friend, is what we call “following the wrong trends.”) Speaking of trends… ladies, listen up: leggings are not pants. I repeat, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. They are pants-tights-hybrids designed to keep your legs warm in cooler weather when you’re wearing skirts or dresses, or even long tunic tops. No one wants to see a female of any status wearing a short top with leggings. A good rule of thumb: if your top is short enough that we can see your vajajay region, put on a longer top, add a skirt, or switch to jeans. Leggings are not pants. Now, on to accessories. You may see some girlhood throwbacks in the form of accessories: ribbons or tiny bows clipped into styled hair; lots of jewelry or clothing overloaded with flowers, butterflies or bows; or an overabundance of Vera Bradley patterns carried at the same time. (A discrete wallet, wristlet, or sunglasses case is one thing; a purse with matching wallet, makeup bag, sunglasses case, scarf, umbrella, daily planner, and pens in Raspberry Fizz is quite another.) Accessories for the ‘woman’? Classically-styled leather bags (designer or not, they’re well-made and built to handle the daily abuse that comes along with a busy schedule); and carefully selected jewelry. A ‘woman’ follows the classic mantra of Coco Chanel: “Before you leave the house, stop, look in the mirror, and remove one accessory. “Both types of females usually like to smell feminine, but you’ll be able to distinguish the heavily sprayed sugary-sweet scent on a ‘girl’ from the lightly-spritzed complex perfumes on a ‘woman’ quite easily. And as for makeup… unless it’s New Year’s Eve, or she’s a figure skater, a ‘woman’ should never, ever wear glitter on her face.

Car: This one is pretty simple. Check the rearview mirror and rear windows. If you’re dealing with a ‘woman,’ you will see either a single car air freshener or nothing at all hanging from the rearview mirror. Graduation tassel, Hawaiian lei, some odd combination of Mardi Gras beads, or bar paraphernalia hanging out? That’s a ‘girl’s car. Rear window check: A ‘woman’ should have no more than 3, count ’em, 3 sticker-type things on her vehicle. These will usually consist of some sort of homage to her university, her political affiliation, her chosen faith, a favorite hobby, or how smart/athletic/religious her children or other family members are. A ‘woman’ should never, ever have the classic hibiscus flower or fairy sticker applied to her back window(s), nor should she have beanie babies hanging out on the rear dash.

Home: ‘Women’ take care of their homes. Period. After all, ‘women’ are the child-bearing gender, and if a female can’t care for herself or her home, she’s certainly not equipped to take care of children or a family. ‘Women’ know how to cook at least 5 well-rounded meals, and don’t consider 2 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch with milk a complete breakfast. ‘Women’ are careful to sort their laundry by both color and fabric type, and know that their lingerie belongs in the delicate cycle inside a lingerie bag, or that it should be hand-washed. ‘Women’ decorate their homes with a specific personal taste, and store or discard unwanted items. ‘Girls’ are more fond of eating out and fast food than cooking, and probably don’t care if breakfast is an egg-white omelet or the leftover pizza from the party 2 nights ago. ‘Girls’ are likely to go out and buy more underwear rather than keep up with the laundry. And if you see a bedroom wall crowded with magazine collages and unframed snapshots, you’re definitely dealing with a ‘girl.’ In general, look around for signs of “nesting”: a comfortable, cozy home you could imagine a couple or family residing in, even if it belongs to a female who resides alone. That’s a good sign that you’ve encountered a ‘woman.’

Behavior: Regardless of maturity level, females will always crave the companionship of other females. And it’s quite likely that the sorority-girl screams of delight that resound when two females who haven’t seen each other in a while will always be an important part of both the ‘woman’ and ‘girl’ repertoire. But, female companionship also opens up the window to cattiness and bitchy behavior. ‘Women’ value their female friendships and engage in mutually respectful behavior with their friends. They listen to hear what their companion is saying (rather than just waiting for their own turn to talk), and give honest, selfless feedback. ‘Women’ show consideration for their friends’ feelings, encourage them in achieving their goals, and assist with the “little things” as a show of appreciation for the person they call their friend. ‘Girls’ still possess a catty, competitive nature. She often interrupts in the midst of conversations to draw the focus back to herself. You usually can’t trust a ‘girl’ to respect your romantic relationships or other friendships. A ‘girl’ will take advantage of any opportunity to “acquire” something of yours that she wants, whether it be a personality trait, a job, a friend, or a lover, without regard to how she affects other people in the process. Still possessing the mentality of a child, she behaves jealously, acts out to get attention, and rarely accepts responsibility for her actions if she is called out. Basically, a ‘girl’ is still focused on her own selfish motives, while a ‘woman’ has learned that showing genuine appreciation and putting others first (while still ensuring that her own needs don’t suffer) are the keys to lasting relationships.

I could seriously go on for days, but I’d love to hear from everyone else. What qualities do you distinguish as separate between a ‘woman’ and a ‘girl’?